Category Archives: American Horsepower

Bryce Harper Got A New Car

We just bought a new family car, and our primary concern was if it had a third row. Something tells me Bryce Harper did not share that concern.

The team at Shoreline Motoring built this amazing ’69 Camaro for Bryce Harper. It is powered by a supercharged CTS-V stroker LSA engine. The full custom interior includes an integrated iPad mini and paddle shifters. It is built upon a full custom chassis with Wilwood brakes and center locking Forgeline FS3P wheels mounted to the Forgeline Flush-Loc center lock conversion kit.

Ooooh, an integrated iPad mini. Fancy. (via Nats Enquirer)

Spotted: Redskins Crotch Rocket

This showed up in my Facebook feed the other day thanks to the DIE HARD REDSKINS FAMILY group, which I guess I’m a member of. Without knowing anything about sports bikes, I asked our brother Beef, who used to own one, what we’re looking at here. His reply:

Pretty sure that’s just a chicken head sitting on a sweet Redskins crotch rocket. I’m pretty sure I want that too … the bike, not the chicken head.

Thanks, Beef.

DMV: Bryce Harper’s Monster Truck Is So Bryce Harper

We’ve no reason to believe this is not Bryce Harper’s truck. [Nats Enquirer]

John Lannan outduels Erik Bedard as the Nats reach .500. [WaPo]

This is the best Nats performance in 6 years, and it may get better. [WaPo]

O’s finish 3-6 road trip with a 5-4 loss to Pittsburgh. [The Sun]

Mark Reynolds is one of the all-time “three true outcome” players. [BR Blog]

McNabb is practicing with Eagles players, you guys. [Redskins Blog]

Why McNabb’s Philly workout should bother the Redskins. [Burgundy Blog]

The Redskins Store is having a sale on Albert Haynesworth jerseys. [Bog]

If you buy seats from FedEx you’re a charitable asshole. [Redskins Blog]

Advocating for the Wiz to take Czech F Jan Vesely at 6 tonight. [Mike Wise]

John Carlson is named to the NHL’s All-Rookie Team. [Caps Insider]

A flowchart to help you determine your favorite Capital. [Caps Outsider]

Maryland will play Va. Tech and West Va. at M&T Bank. [Testudo Times]

The D.C. Divas ladies football team has a rap song now. [Bog]

A former WaPo journalist comes out as an illegal immigrant. Amazing. [NYT]

Want: The ’79 World Series O’s Golf Cart

It’s been quieter than usual around here because I’ve been moving and getting to know the people at DirecTV (the $120 Sunday Ticket credit they gave me is all you need to know about our new friendship). Also, because I’ve been spending more time with Tumblr/my Tumblr blog, which has become increasingly addictive thanks to stuff like this:

All will return to normal once we settle into the new house and I stop goofing off on the Internet, which should be never.

Scenes From Skins-Eagles: Truck Nuts And Go-Go, That’s What D.C. Does

There was the personal port-a-potty at our neighbor’s tailgate, a Portis Miami throwback and even a jacket listing every win over Dallas. I saw a Skins fan take an Eagles fan to the bathroom floor and later told a filly from Philly that she has “a mouth like a toilet.” But nothing captures the essence of Mr. Irrelevant at a Skins game like meeting a perfect stranger in our best-selling t-shirt who’s willing to pose with another man’s truck nuts:


That’s Pulitzer Prize-level shit right there, shit that can only be matched by the glory that is a Redskins band celebration in the end zone bar:

“Awww, D.C.” indeed.

Want: Intimidator Ornament

We see D.C. sports-related merchandise all the time that, while we may not actually want it for ourselves, we want to share with you. Welcome to Want.

Take a look at your Christmas tree. It’s for pussies. It probably has some queer ass angel topper and some jolly little bitch ass Santas dangling from its limbs. Your tree needs to grow some balls. Get ‘er done by addin’ this here kick ass D.E.3. ornament:


Sweet baby jesus above, The Intimidator is born again! Look at that there sombitch, you fuckin’ fuckers! Shit lights up and goes in circles, just like the real No. 3 used to. Man alive, it’s only gonna cost me $25? Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, I need to get me one of thems. 

Porn Tube Group Sex

LaRon Landry Remains Modest

When you see LaRon’s Hummer pictured below, I know what you’re gonna think: That’s a man who craves attention. But it ain’t even about that. No, LaRon upgraded from the stock 20s to the 30s for one reason only: because that’s his jersey number. If that’s some sort of theme amongst NFL players, I’d love to see the rims on Jason Taylor’s ride.


Really, compared to the F-650 and the lime Lambo, this Hummer is about as head-turning as Jamie’s ’01 Maxima (it still has all four hubcaps!). But none of those three rides are Landry’s favorites, as he told Matt Terl:

I have two favorites. My Benz – I have an S63 AMG Benz, y’know, that’s the all around great ride for me. And my Corvette, I love my Corvette probably a little bit more than my Lamborghini, because … it’s not that it’s a better car, it’s that if you’re gonna spend that much money on a Lamborghini you wanna take care of it. But with the Vette, I’ve done a lot of upgrades to my Vette: changed my heads, the cams, all kinds of stuff.

Right, that makes sense. Any fool knows that a ‘Vette is totally just your typical, run-of-the-mill $55,000 beater ride; not something you’d actually wanna take good care of.

Continue reading LaRon Landry Remains Modest

Redskins Drive Flamboyant Automobiles

On Sunday, the team hosted the Redskins Rides car show in Ashburn, and as you can imagine, it turned into a pissing contest over who can waste the most amount of their signing bonus on an automobile. There were several quality entrants, but my personal favorite is Clinton Portis and his Maserati sitting on the aftermarket chrome rims with the red lip:


Many more after the jump.

Continue reading Redskins Drive Flamboyant Automobiles