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Albert Haynesworth

Albert Haynesworth Demands Trade, Won’t Attend Skins Training Camp

zorn_albert.jpgShocking news you’ll never believe: Albert Haynesworth does not want to play for the Redskins anymore. Jason Reid informs us that Big Al won’t show up to mandatory camp on Wednesday, and that he has no intentions of playing for the Redskins and their silly 3-4 defense.

Take it away, Haynesworth’s agent:

“The Redskins are trying to establish a new regime with new schemes at Redskins Park, and it is not an organization that Albert would have ever been attracted to just a short year ago – regardless of the money,” agent Chad Speck said in a phone interview. “He has made it clear to me that he does not want to play for the Washington Redskins.

“This situation will be a distraction to the Redskins and to Albert and his teammates. I am certain [head coach] Mike [Shanahan] and [General Manager] Bruce [Allen] want to get the most out of their first year and it’s probably in everyone’s best interests for the Redskins to make a deal and trade Albert.”

Do you remember that one time when I defended Haynesworth? And then that other time? Yeah, sorry about that.

Former Managing Editor at UPROXX; former Senior Editor at @SBNation; former ska-zine editor, fan of bad sports teams and good beer.

18 Comments

18 Comments

  1. Jamie Mottram

    June 15, 2010 at 8:52 PM

    $41 million, guaranteed.

    Safe to say Big Al jumps to No. 1 on the Offseason Champs top 10?

  2. rams_027

    June 15, 2010 at 8:53 PM

    WOW, he does not look like a wide receiver. I had no idea T.O. had a twin brother.

  3. JDP

    June 15, 2010 at 8:56 PM

    I’d also like to apologize for once defending Fat Albert. Man do I hate him now. Thing is we will get NO value for him in any trade but at least he’d be off our books

  4. Jules

    June 15, 2010 at 9:07 PM

    I hope Shanahan hands his ass to him. What a fuck head.

  5. BReed

    June 15, 2010 at 9:24 PM

    They may get value for him once training camps start and players on other teams start to drop. All it takes is one team. If not, Fat Ass can rot on the bench.

  6. ATBechtold

    June 15, 2010 at 9:41 PM

    What a waste of fucking space. I wish I never said what up to him when I saw him at Reston Town Center.

  7. rusty

    June 15, 2010 at 10:19 PM

    i hope we wait til the last day, that way hes useless to the other team ass well. How do you say im lazy and dont wanna work in rich asshole speak.

  8. horseydeucey

    June 15, 2010 at 10:19 PM

    Exhibit G– why I can no longer get excited about any Redskins free agent signings. And by no longer get excited I mean dread each and every one. But hey guys, McNabb will be the one that works out, right? Or maybe Westbrook?

    I think our offseason champ streak is in jeopardy.

  9. C-Nasty

    June 15, 2010 at 10:38 PM

    Can we get some more bacon here please?

  10. gretroid

    June 15, 2010 at 10:57 PM

    must be nice to be able to whine and bitch about how much your job sucks and then go home and fall asleep in a pile of your MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. you play FOOTBALL for a living, asshole, stop complaining.

    a pox on dan snyder for bringing this guy in.

  11. gretroid

    June 15, 2010 at 10:58 PM

    rephrase: a pox on dan snyder for well… everthing, ever.

  12. Mike Bradley

    June 15, 2010 at 11:50 PM

    pack shit.get out.now.

  13. Matt

    June 16, 2010 at 7:10 AM

    Well I think the name Albert just shot down any lists of baby names in the Washington DC area

  14. kip

    June 16, 2010 at 8:14 AM

    Trade him to the CFL

  15. DocJ

    June 16, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    Trade him, cut him, whatever, just get rid of him. Its not my money, maybe its what Snyder deserves. Guy signs for 1 year and runs away with 32 mil of his money and we get a 3rd round draft pick. Send him to cleveland or oakland. Somewhere real shitty.

  16. Donn Ahearn

    June 17, 2010 at 6:17 PM

    Agents Are Truly Intelligent Dept.

    “The Redskins are trying to establish a new regime with new schemes at Redskins Park, and it is not an organization that Albert would have ever been attracted to just a short year ago – regardless of the money,” agent Chad Speck said in a phone interview. “He has made it clear to me that he does not want to play for the Washington Redskins.”

    Translation: the team got a new coach; a new GM; appears not to be run by Team Doofus anymore; and is trying to get better! WHO WOULD WANT THAT? Just a short year ago, Fatso here made it totally clear that he is all about stagnation, idiocy, and shit that doesn’t work! Did you fail to get the memo? He very clearly said he would stay to get the money; took the money; and now will not stay! Do not cowardliness and bold-faced lying make it clear to you that my client is SCUM?

    [Greek translation available upon request]

    The Skins need to cut this guy, then sue him for breach of promise. And his agent should rent out a brain, a cheap one would be enough here, and represent a real athlete of some sort.

  17. cee=money

    June 18, 2010 at 12:25 AM

    I think your all Wright about him. He doesn’t care if the team wins ore loose. He took the money and ran. The team can go 0-100 long as he get his

  18. Bob

    June 25, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    In business, future decisions regarding what to do about a bad investment should not be made on “sunk costs,” costs which cannot be redeemed. In other words, just because we spent a lot of money on an aquisition is not a good reason to stay the course. Albert should be sent packing immediately and become someone else’s headache. The opportunity costs to the Redskins, the distractions, are mounting as well.

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