Redskins-Giants Predictions

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Cheers to jake for predicting the Redskins would lose badly to St. Louis. Now he gets to guest post!

Here are our crackerjack staff’s scientific predictions for this week’s game. Make yours down in the comments. Whoever comes closest becomes a published author on this here weblog.

Chris Mottram: Giants, 31-17

There is still “plenty on the line,” especially considering the Skins have a chance to “finish near the top of the division.” These last three games are a “great opportunity” to “play spoiler” and “end on a good note.” I look for them to use this as “motivation” and lose by only 14 points on Sunday. (Everything in quotes is taken directly from Redskins.com.)

Matt Terl: Giants, 17-14

Cousins gets in and it goes poorly. Gruden says something honest but stupidly ill-advised in his postgame remarks. We all sit around waiting to see if anyone gets fired straight off the plane. More of the same, basically.

JP Finlay: Giants, 34-21

Too much ODB. Way too much.

Andy Peden: Giants, 34-11

Make it stop.

Todd Davis: Giants, 27-2

The fake punt was vintage Horny for Zorny! Hoping for more of the same this week. To paraphrase The Usual Suspects, the Skins these Giants what disfunction truly is.

Jack Kogod: Giants, 27-3

I haven’t watched a game in weeks. Are they still terrible? They’re probably still terrible.

Jamie Mottram: Giants, 27-10

The Redskins have the longest losing streak in the NFC, and it isn’t close. Keep it going!

Composite prediction: Giants, 24-11

19 thoughts on “Redskins-Giants Predictions”

  1. Redskins 24
    Giants 13

    Skins look surprisingly competent for stretches, giving people false hope and saving Gruden’s job in the process. Larry Michael gets chesty on the radio Monday, throws moron shade at Steinbog.

    This Fucks the team out of a top 5 pick, they decide to trade back and inexplicably draft Devin Thomas again in the second round – Larry Michael grades it an A+ because of his intangibles,

  2. colt mccoy plays like todd collins, alf runs like portis, and the o- line channels their inner john jansen, chris samuels, casey rabach, todd wade and randy thomas.

    Chocolate City- 22
    Gotham – 10

  3. Skins love “moral victories” with nothing on the line.
    16 Skins
    9 GiAnts

    There is no chance of rain, it rains
    Colt goes 3-12, 12 yards, 1 Int gets benched
    Bob comes in 2-8, 70 yards, 1 TD, a 68 yarder to D-Jax, then gets miraculously broken in the leg area.
    Kirk finishes the 4th quarter in true Kirk-off-the-bench fashion 4-4, 53 yards, 1 TD to Reed
    Alf gets 40 yards on 40 carries
    Pierre falls victim to an unfortunate prank as he catches no pass (not the prank) on no targets (also not the prank) but his joking questions on the side line of “can you guys see me?” are ignored (the prank). His confidence is shattered, he conducts his post game interviews in French.
    Breeland finishes the game with 4 passes defended, 1 questionable penalty for illegal contact, 2 suplexes, gets a WWF (It’s still real to me damn it) offer.
    Kerrigan gets 2.5 sacks, makes Gretzky’s head bleed, suplexes Breeland, his NFL career is followed by a mediocre political career.

  4. 36-3 Giants

    The lone field goal comes early when team MVP Tress Way pins the giants deep in their own territory and Kerrigan strip-sacks Eli. When the offense takes over, they actually lose 20 yards from sacks and holding penalties, but still manage to be close enough for the kick.

  5. 20-13 Giants

    Washington secondary focuses so much on the obvious (Beckham) that they give Eli two wide open TD throws to other WRs.

    McCoy is ineffective and gets knocked out again. RG3 comes on and gets sacked twice.

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