The Nats’ Top 10 Real ‘Defining Moments’

If you’ve been watching the Nats on MASN at all, you’re well familiar with the “Defining Moments” ad campaign, starring reals fans and even bloggers such as Miss Chatter and Screech’s Best Friend. And if you’ve read sports blogs at all, you know these have been roundly mocked, especially this one:

Yeah, a walk-off walk. That’s Natscitement. No wonder attendance is down 35 percent. I’ve got to imagine ratings have taken a similar dive.

Regardless, these commercials have been deemed so successful that MASN is casting for a second round of “Defining Moments”. This despite the fact that, aside from Ryan Zimmerman’s walk-off home run to open Nats Park, there aren’t many defining moments, at least not positive ones.

So, after the jump, we present the Nationals’ top 10 real defining moments, moments that MASN doesn’t want you to know about …

  1. Nick Johnson reaching 500 at-bats, immediately breaking his leg.
  2. Getting outbid for both Alfonso Soriano and Mark Teixeira.
  3. Dmitri Young showing up at camp weighing 291 pounds.
  4. Giving “Smiley Gonzalez” a $1.4 million signing bonus.
  5. Signing Paul Lo Duca to a $5 million contract.
  6. Failing to sign No. 9 overall pick Aaron Crow.
  7. Stan Kasten inviting Philly fans to Nats Park.
  8. Chad Cordero unleashing 79-mph fastballs.
  9. Odalis Perez, Opening Day starter.
  10. “NATINALS”.

I’m sure there are more. There must be.

11 thoughts on “The Nats’ Top 10 Real ‘Defining Moments’”

  1. 2. Saying they were outbid for Soriano implies they bid on him. I don’t believe that they did.

    9. Was he any worse than Ramon Ortiz though? Actually, he wasn’t the Nats won the night Perez pitched.

    10. UniWatch suspects Majestic may have something against the Nationals and asked for some whistle- blowers to come forward.

    Other candidates —

    Jose Guillen throwing a half-season long hissyfit because Nats pitchers didn’t through a the Mets in July 2005.

    Nats tanking right after ESPN wonders aloud if they could be “America’s Team” in 2005.

    Frank Robinson crying after benching Matt LeCroy.

    Mike Stanton’s Balk-off

  2. Re: Soriano — You’re right, but not bidding on him is even sadder.

    Re: Ortiz — Forgot about him.

    Re: “NATINALS” — If I have to, I’ll replace that one with “Milledge’s entire 2009 to-date”.

  3. What about Jim Bowden – GM?

    Or the Nats not paying rent to the city in 2008?

    Or being the first team in modern history to be swept after leading every game in the 9th?

    The infield of meathook, belliard, guzman and whoever at 3rd? Fattest in history? (not sure they were ever in the game at the same time but it was possible!)

  4. Re: Bowden — He’s to blame for six or seven of the top 10.

    Re: The fat infield — Dmitri at 291 represents all fat Nats everywhere.

    Re: Ben’s — My first Nats Park half-smoke is a defining moment f’sho.

  5. Let’s not forget Ray King, Daryle Ward, and Carlos Baerga from our beer softball league infield.

    Luis Ayala the only season ending injury in the inaugural WBC.

    Johnny Estrada – $1.2M = 9 Hits.

    Mike Bascik serving up #756.

    Caron Butler’s first pitch.

  6. Thought of a few more…

    Brandon Phillips stole two bases in one pitch while they had the infield shifted for (none other than) Adam Dunn!

    The new atrocious statues. Frank Howard’s statue has the wrong jersey number, uniform, bat brand, and just dumb looking in general. ( Nice work for remembering one our few icons!

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