Handing out labels following Skins games. Today: a 23-7 loss to New York.
WINNERS: Devin Thomas — It dulls the pain to watch his 29-yard reverse TD over and over (be sure to mute Kenny, Moose and Goose though):
Mike Sellers — His 20-yard catch-and-run where he hurdled a defender is a career highlight.
Slim Pickens — You know, Carl’s brother. (Jokes!) Seriously, when you get trounced by a division rival to fall a game back for the Wild Card with four to play, on Sean Taylor day no less, winners are few and far between.
LOSERS: Jim Zorn — Not only did he look like a drowned rat destined for pneumonia, his offense scored seven points. FOX showed a graphic stating that the Skins’ season-high for points (29 in Week 2 against New Orleans) is less than the Giants average coming in (29.9). Nice necklace though.
Shaun Suisham — They lost by 16 and were dominated in all phases of the game, but it must’ve been awfully defeating to come back from 13-0 to score a TD and line up a 42-yard FG just before the half … only to have him push it wide right. This is his third straight week missing one from between 42 and 46, and, when your team struggles to score, it’s just a killer.
Ryan Plackemeier — He averaged 45.7 yards per punt, and that’s pretty good, but he had three touchbacks and none inside the 20. And because I don’t feel like writing about Washington’s horrendous special teams anymore (how did they not get a rush on NY’s botched extra point?), I’ll just say this: FIRE DANNY SMITH.
James Thrash — I feel bad calling him out, but that 3rd-down drop sucked.
Fred Smoot — Got burnt by 34 year-old Amani Toomer on a straight fly for NY’s first TD.
Carlos Rogers — I’m not sure if Greg Blache is coaching him this way, or if it’s just Rogers’ personal technique, but giving Domenik Hixon a 10-yard cushion, especially when he’s burning you on quick slants, isn’t good. And while we’re here, the secondary as a whole had a tough day, a Plaxico Burress-less day in which Eli Manning picked them apart.
LaRon Landry — Speaking of, Landry usually gets a pass, but The Player Hater’s Ball calls him out, especially for the whiffed tackle on Derrick Ward.
The Dirtbags — The O-line has had a tough year in pass protection, where the four sacks they gave up here is the norm, but at least they’ve been run blocking to great effect. Not so much in this game, where Portis and Betts ran 12 times for just 25 yards.
Clinton Portis — He’s not a loser by any means, but that man is hurt. Hurt in like four different ways, each of which would put you and I on the couch for weeks. Perhaps he should consider doing the same.
Malcolm Kelly — Finally got the chance to make a big play, dropping a deep ball that him in the chest.
Kenny, Moose and Goose — If they starred in an early ’80s Saturday morning cartoon, it’d be called Masters of the Obvious. (Jokes I tell you!)
MEDIUM: DeAngelo Hall — Picked one off, but also got beat, missed the tackle and drew a late hit penalty … all on the same play. It wasn’t as bad as 67 yards worth of penalties on one drive, but, yeah, pretty bad.
NEXT: Washington at Baltimore Sunday 12/7, 8:15 p.m. ET