Countdown to Epic Fail: T-Minus 10

With the Nats on the cusp of their first 100-loss season, we will countdown to the momentous occasion here after each loss leading up to the milestone.


Nats lost another slugfest with the Mets, 13-10 last night. It was another shitty performance by their starting pitcher … blah, blah, blah … let’s get to the good stuff: Elijah Dukes.

In the fourth, during his first at-bat after homering in the second inning, Dukes was nearly hit by a pitch. He then got into some verbal warfare with Mets pitcher Mike Pelfrey, who said this about the incident after the game:

“He was telling me to ‘Bring it on,’ and ‘Let’s go,’ and I’m like, ‘Dude, man, I didn’t do that on purpose, you know?’ So I was just kind of shocked that it escalated like that.”

Dude, man, bro, for real, homie. Can I call you homie? No? Ok, dude, seriously, didn’t mean it, bro. Don’t hurt me. Please, man. I have a wife and kids, homie … shit … I mean, bro.

But that wasn’t the end of it. Dukes gathered himself and hit a double. He was then driven in and after crossing the plate, he gave the crowd a “wrestling-style crotch motion.” I’m not sure what that means, but for hilarity’s sake, I’m going to assume he pulled out his man-bit and wagged it disapprovingly at the fans.

In his next at-bat in the fifth, Dukes actually was hit. Amazingly, he dropped his bat and took his base without so much as a glance towards Pelfry (after the game, Pelfry was grateful to still be in one piece, saying “I’m just glad in his next at-bat, when I hit him at 3-2, that he knew that wasn’t on purpose either.”) Disappointing, indeed. Finally, in his last AB in the ninth, he grounded out and gave the crowd the “make some noise” motion with his arms as they booed him off the field (see image above).

All in all, not your run-of-the-mill 90th loss. Dukes’ reaction to it all after the game was classic, as well:

“What the fuck is there to talk about?”

If Dukes says there’s nothing to talk about, then there’s nothing to talk about. Move along people, nothing to see here.

Previously: 14131211

UPDATE: Stet has some facts about Dukes you should know. For example: “Fact – Everything Elijah Dukes doesn’t believe in is more commonly known as ‘fiction.'”

6 thoughts on “Countdown to Epic Fail: T-Minus 10”

  1. Shouldn’t we REALLY be counting to 63?? THAT’S the “magic” number I’M dealing with…63 wins, means we DON’T see 100 losses.
    Way to be positive there, guys…LMAO…sure you guys aren’t closet Mets fans?? RLMMFAO

  2. this team needs some fire and attitude and if that means jerking off at the crowd then so be it.

    Elliot in the morning is the biggest faggot hating on Dukes like that. His show hasnt been worth a damn since that Dexter Manley interview. Fuck that stupid hebrew canadian faggot. this bagels for you bitchboy.

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