Redskins-Bills Winners and Losers

hogs-head.jpgLoser: Anyone in a Redskins foamhead

Winners: The Starters — No injuries, except for maybe Randle El: “right forearm injury, taken … for X-rays.”

Losers: Mike Patrick and Joe Theismann — At one point Patrick asked Theismann if Derek Devine could beat Colt Brennan for the third QB spot. Theismann said no, so Patrick asked if Brennan could unseat Todd Collins for No. 2. Again Theismann said no, and proceeded to bludgeon Patrick, using his Super Bowl rings as brass knuckles.

Winner: Jim ZornFirst game at FedEx, and he walks with a victory.

Winner: Jason Campbell — Seems increasingly comfortable as The Guy.

Loser: Todd Collins — Still not comfy in Zorn’s offense; threw a bad pick.

Loser: Colt Brennan — Got an ovation upon taking the field, and Comcast SportsNet reporter Kelli Johnson asked both Jason Campbell and Shawn Springs for their thoughts on the rookie in back-to-back interviews. Never has a 6th-round third-stringer been so overhyped.

Winner: Ladell Betts — Forty on the ground and 40 through the air in just one quarter of play. It looked like the second half of ’06 out there.

Winner: Shaun Suisham — Nailed a 46-yarder with room to spare.

Losers: Every single Redskin — Because they’re all about to be asked what it’s like to play Brett Favre this week.

Update: Forgot to include Marcus Mason, winner and Derrick Frost, loser, so thanks to Redskins Insider and Player Hater’s Ball for the reminders.

17 thoughts on “Redskins-Bills Winners and Losers”

  1. Highlight of the game. Some whitetrash douchebag stands up in front of us and yells at us for swearing around his kids. He then turns us in for starting a Buffalo chant and the ushers try to tell us that we can’t cheer for anyone but the Skins. Ten minutes later we start it up again and douchebag stands up, this time telling us that we fucking suck and the Bills are fucking shit. The ushers then toss him from the game for swearing in front of his kids.

  2. Good stuff, 289.

    Aside from Marshawn Lynch, do Bills fans wear the jerseys of any current Buffalo players? Just wondering, because they must be the no-name-iest team in the league.

  3. This was the first Skins game I’ve missed since my friend scheduled his b-day part on a Sunday when I was like eight. I remember crying a lot that day.

    Instead, I was at a bar on the lake stuck with the Panthers preseason game, which hilariously went into overtime after a botched snap on a last-second Carolina field goal attempted.

    As always, “Winners: The Starters — No injuries” is all that really matters.

  4. 1. I love the mayor despite never having seen him in person. When I went to training camp on the second to last day, the one person I was disappointed not to see there was the Mayor. Mayor, get back in the field!

    2. I am glad the anti-Derrick Frost trend has continued. Because Durant Brooks will unleash the fury. He is full of intestinal fortitude and will turn the punter into an MVP caliber player. Durant Brooks for starter!

  5. #2 That foam head is part of my opening day outfit, altough it has been altered more than slightly.

    I’m guessing you added a dime sized hole in the mouth?

    Most no-namiest? I know you don’t get out of the DC media bubble much but how many non-Steve Smith jerseys do you see around you in Carolina? A Delhomme or maybe Kerry Collins? Do they even make current Titans jerseys that don’t look like Vince Young’s back?

    Marshawn’s jersey is probably the #2 seller after Poz’s (we’re just as racist as you, plus he’s Polish!) with Evans, Whitner, Moorman and J.T. Loswards after them.

  6. A punter is the fourth-most popular jersey on the Bills? I know he’s got a nice boot and took that hit from Sean Taylor rather well, but still.

    And a second-round LB who got hurt three games into his rookie year is #1? That’s some no-name shit right there.

    I mean, they beat Washington when it counted in a truly gut-wrenching game just last year, so no disrespect … I’m just saying, Buffalo’s roster makes the No-Name Defense look like the Dream Team.

  7. And good call on Carolina and Tennessee being just as star-less as Buffalo. At least the Bills have a fanbase. I’ve lived in NC for a month now and haven’t seen a soul wearing Panthers gear.

  8. There was a group of about 10 guys and ladies rocking Panthers jerseys up at Lake Norman (30 min north of Charlotte) on Saturday night. Most of the jerseys you see around the Charlotte area are Delhomme, with Smith being No. 2 followed by Peppers.

    Smith, Delhomme, Peppers > Marshawn, whoever Poz is, Evans

  9. Doesn’t Tampa win this contest?

    I mean, I guess Jeff Garcia could sell a couple jerseys, but who else? Josh Bidwell? Earnest Graham? Probably old Sapp jerseys.

  10. Moorman’s jersey is popular because that’s the joke, he’s the punter. It would be like if Dan Snyder offered a Colt Brennan, Todd Collins, or Cornelius Griffin jersey in the Pro Shop. Oh, right.

  11. “I’m guessing you added a dime sized hole in the mouth?”

    Nah. I put a 0 on one side, cause that how many Super Bowls the Bills have won.

    Then I put a 31 on the other side, cause thats what your defense was ranked last year.

    Now, I think this proves that the Bills do indeed “fucking suck” and are “fucking shit” wouldnt you agree?

  12. At yet they still beat the ‘Sucks last year. Thanks for the TO coach!

    @289 He put a cone sized hole in the mouth cause DTC only drinks out of traffic cones. Some real bas ass shit there.

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