Meat Hook Really, Really Enjoys Massage

masseuse.jpgWhen you’re a large man — say, oh, about 6’2″, 298 — you’re bound to have some hip and/or back problems. That is exactly what’s been going on with our beloved Dmitri Young lately. He hasn’t had an at-bat since April 2, and before Wednesday’s game, the pain was still so insufferable that Da Meat Hook couldn’t even get through batting practice. This is where the young lady to your right comes into play (photos creepily ripped off her private MySpace page by someone other than us).

That is the Nationals team massage therapist Tatiana Tchamouroff, who it’s our understanding is quite stunning in person. During the game on Wednesday, she managed to work some wonders for Dmitri:

“All of a sudden, he felt instant release,” Bowden said. “She found the spot.”

Ms. Tchamouroff is actually a friend of a friend, so we wouldn’t dare imply that anything beyond a simple massage went down with The Hook, but, well, Bowden’s sexual innuendos speak for themselves.

It should be noted that she is officially our new favorite person for whatever it was she did to Dmitri. After the massage, he was able to take normal batting pratice and was hitting “with violence at contact” from both sides of the plate. Bless you, Tatiana.

Update: This is embarrassing. Nationals Enquirer posted about this last night. Apologies.

Update II: From our friend who told us about this story and sent the photo: “Did I mention that she once dated Brady Anderson?” So there’s that.

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