Shawne Merriman Throws Like a Girl

I realize it’s, like, sexist, or whatever, to use “throws like a girl” as an insult. But let’s be honest: Most women don’t know how to properly throw a football (I can get away with saying shit like that when the Ladies are on vacation). And neither does former Terp Shawne Merriman:

Terp or not, that guy is one goofy asshole. And by “asshole” what I mean is that “Lights Out” has to be one of the most insufferable douchebags in football. Of course, his teammate Philip Rivers would take top honor in that category.

And how is it possible that there are men in this country who don’t know how to throw? Unless you grew up without a father, you have no excuse. You can absolutely suck at any and all other physical activities, but being able to throw a tight spiral or one-hop a baseball to the plate from left field are basic and essential elements of being part of the male species.

7 thoughts on “Shawne Merriman Throws Like a Girl”

  1. Why make this a no-daddy thing when you can call it what it is?

    His HGH sculpted arms aren’t made for throwing. They’re made for tacklin’ and scooping up Playboy bunnies.

  2. Saw the little man last week and did a double take

    and then this week your on it again,

    Merriman has a longer windup than Andre Woodson, and throws it with the zip of Calista Flockhart

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