At this point, I think the only thing we can do as Redskins fans to affect change is to A) switch teams or B) stop giving the team money.
With regard to Option A, I’ve tried to adopt my home state Panthers as a favorite team in-waiting. Of course, they’re on a five-game losing streak, with the latest loss coming on a pair of misses from ex-Redskins kicker Graham Gano. So that’s going well.
With regard to Option B, most of us stopped going to games and buying merch long ago. The last game I went to at FedEx was JMU-West Virginia, over two years ago. And I can’t remember the last bit of Redskins apparel I purchased, though my wife did get me RGIII socks for Christmas 2012. (“Unbelievably Believable” had a different meaning then.)
So, what do we do? We could quit the team, but that doesn’t feel right. Or we could hit Dan Snyder in the wallet, where it hurts.
To that end, here’s a list of Redskins corporate sponsors* to consider boycotting. Who knows how much it’ll help, but it’s stuff like this that forces Snyder to consider two options of his own: A) sell the team or B) at least put a real football mind in charge.
*This list is incomplete and some of the companies may not be active sponsors. Our apologies for the revenue shortage they’re about to experience.
1. Harris Teeter — Between Giant, Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, etc., this shouldn’t be hard. (If it’s the complimentary sugar cookies you want, feel free to swing by and dip your fingers into that little germ-riddled plastic box.)
2. FedEx — Do people still ship things? LAME.
3. Bank of America — There are other, perhaps less American banks.
4. Coca-Cola — It’s gut rot anyway.
5. Papa John’s — Miss you already, garlic sauce.
6. New York Life — Life insurance is a total pain in the ass.
7. Virginia Lottery — Each year my mother in-law gives us lottery tickets as a stocking stuffer, and each year we come up empty. Ergo Virginia Lottery ruins Christmas.
8. Greene Turtle — Does anyone actually go to Greene Turtle?
9. Sprint — Put your flip phones away, boys.
10. StubHub — There are plenty of other options!
11. Ameritel — Whatever that is.
12. Anheuser-Busch — The king of shitty beer.
13. Tostitos — Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s don’t carry Tostitos.
14. Geico — They’re all the same.
15. Verizon — Okay, they’ve got me over a barrel.
16. Diageo — This will be hard, but say goodbye to Bulleit, Crown Royal and Johnnie Walker.
17. Audi — The youngest brother Mottram loves his Audi. This may be a problem.
(Image taken with love from Dan Steinberg’s field trip to FedEx, which perfectly illustrates the need for a list like this.)